Requesting protection, requires constantly needing protecting, if you look at it from a law of attraction standpoint.
When you consistently feel unsafe, especially emotionally, it becomes your state of being.
Having a high level of self-worth denotes that you are automatically always protected and that you are never emotionally unsafe. You hold those standards for yourself above all else and will accept nothing less. And yes, this can be learned over time.
When your self-worth is compromised, it is likely that you were not protected as a child by the adults in your life when you needed to be protected and this left you feeling very unsafe, sometimes emotionally and sometimes physically and emotionally. All of which wired your nervous system to constantly be on high alert. That was your reality and it created neuropathways in your brain as such. Your mirror neurons (and other important parts of the brain such as your basal ganglia and prefrontal cortex) began to fire this belief back to you once reasoning capabilities set in and as time went on, those pathways were consistently reinforced by your unconscious belief that you were not protected and therefore not safe.
What perpetuates this pattern? Well consider the fact that now you are the adult, but the inner child in you, who was the one left feeling unsafe, doesn't trust ANY adult after what they've been through. Including themselves as an adult. You do not trust yourself to meet your own basic internal needs because the adults in your childhood lost your trust. So your inner child trusts NO adults and a part of you is stuck still feeling like that child, though you're all grown up now. So to continue reinforcing your beliefs, you don't trust yourself and you have diminished self-worth because the adults from your childhood were worthless. An adult with no self-worth can't teach a child how to have self-worth. Generational patterns of worthlessness have plagued many. It has to stop somewhere.
How do you break this pattern? Just like everything, it starts with awareness. You don't need to dig into your childhood and drudge up old memories, but doing some structured inner child/inner self healing in whatever capacity it finds you can certainly help. What I invite you to do is reframe how you look at the idea of needing protection and your ideas of feeling unsafe. They both give 'damsel in distress' vibes for both men and women alike and in turn gives your power over to whatever you feel you need protecting from or whatever makes you feel unsafe.
What if you don't need protecting? What if you could take your power back by learning to simply observe? Could you potentially rewire your brain to believe you're inherently worthy of protection and in turn know that you're always protected? The power of observation negates the need to people please, a low self-worth trait, and opens you back up to your free will of choice. You can choose to partake in what you're observing, or not.
And what if you're not actually unsafe? What if all you need to do is prove yourself reliable to yourself and choose to believe it? What would that look like for you and what could you accomplish in your life from a space of self-reliance? The idea of self-reliance negates all sides of codependence by allowing you to step into your power of observation.
In turn, by practicing self-reliance, so that you can observe situations instead of needing protection from them, you can learn to set very solid and clear boundaries in your life, eliminating tendencies of codependence and people pleasing. Once you set and hold your boundaries, you create new neuropathways and your mirror neurons (and/or your basal ganglia and prefeontal cortex) will ensure those pathways are solidified into a new and more positive belief system. One that serves you in the best ways possible and is also for the greatest good of those in your life.
Being self-reliant is your superpower to observe situations and choose to engage or to simply walk away and move on.
Self-reliance squashes codependence and observation squashes people pleasing. A win-win situation, right!
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