I want to preface this post by saying that the number of times I used the word “shit” was a major indicator of the day I was having when I wrote this. I speak a lot here about perspective, too. I should have titled this one “Perspective on shit” but that’s too basic for my complex ways of existing! Also… This is written in the manner of how an actual ADHD brain operates. I was never diagnosed with ADHD, but the more I learn about it, the more I realize that my brain definitely does it. I’m not gonna lie, I kinda dig that shit! On to the content!!
So we all fuck shit up, right? Rhetorical question! Yes! Yes, we all fuck shit up! The difference between those who fuck shit up and succeed and those who fuck shit up and fail is all in perspective. Take it from me, as a person who has failed (meaning given up) more times than not, but also had some successes. It’s a mindset and I am just learning how to achieve it at 40 years old! That all started for me about 3.5 years ago right before my 37th birthday. I have spoken often of my spiritual awakening. The best way to describe that is that it was like 5 billion lightbulbs turning on ALL at one time and it fucking HURT!!!!!!! A lot!!!!!!
There have been many days along this journey thus far, that I have stopped and asked myself, why the hell didn’t you figure all of this out 15 years ago? Why are we here now and having to deal with this when everything could have gone significantly more smoothly if you had just woken up all those years ago instead of clinging to misery for SO long!!!!? Those days are hard. Unimaginably hard sometimes. But what I have to cling to at this point is that I finally started to believe in myself! I have always had faith in a higher power, but I did not trust or believe in myself enough to allow that higher power to answer all of the prayers I had been putting out my entire life. I kinda think that’s what happened in my awakening. I finally found faith in myself and then all the lightbulbs I had been trying to turn on, via prayer, for 37 years came on all at once. Ha ha! Ain’t that some shit!
And now moving to the topic at hand! I decided to try a 30 day challenge recently. I chose to start small for myself. I set 3 very short and simple goals to do each day for 30 days. Read for 10 minutes a day, give thanks to myself for something while looking in the mirror every day and lastly to do a very specific (and short) meditation technique I’d been learning about every day. I am being vague on the meditation technique because it would be too much to explain here!
I’ve never been good at 30 day challenges because consistency isn’t exactly steadfast in my convoluted little reality I created oh so long ago. I am, however, consistently adjusting the contrast of my reality in many ways every single day. I will give myself that much credit! The idea of adjusting my reality stems from my existence in “higher dimensions”. They’re called “higher” dimensions, but I don’t like that use of the word higher in that context. It connotes that it is better than lower dimensions and I just don’t agree with that. None are better or worse. It’s all perception. Because so many times, the most important lessons come from the places that are considered the worst places to be. We grow exponentially from those shitty spaces we end up in and what’s not good about that? Perspective is EVERYTHING!
Anyhoo… I digress. The higher dimensions I tend to chill in have allowed me to shift my reality from shit, misery and imminent death at a young age, to positive lightwork and a beautiful outlook on the darkness that exists in the world right now. My awakening is what happened when I realized that much of the negativity I was feeling was that of others in the world and that nothing was actually wrong in my own world. I created a myriad of wrongnesses to justify the emotions I felt as opposed to just returning the emotions to the rightful owners. The life of an intuitive empath is a bitch when you have NO idea you’re an intuitive empath. That’s deep shit.
Yep! That was, yet another, super fun digression! *big smiles*
So back to my 30 day challenge. Starting small was the idea since I had started many of these types of challenges over the years, but never in my life actually finished one. I found some great information about healthy ways to do challenges like this and it really put a lot into perspective for me. I chose to do a 30 day challenge for better and healthier reasons this time and the purpose made more sense to me. I did it to learn what makes me tick. What gets me fired up and motivated on my good days and what holds me back and hinders me on my tough days.
The good days tend to be hard days for me to focus on myself and my perspective. The lightworker and budding spiritual healer in me wants to save the fucking world when I feel good. I want to solve other’s problems and draw up the plan for world peace and broadcast it to whomever the fuck would listen (which, in all honesty, is typically NO ONE! Hahaha!). So to stop and look in the mirror and say, hi, Sharett! Why do you feel so great today? That is difficult, to say the least! But I did make a mental list of a few things that I think contributed to my motivation on good days.
First, was setting intentions the night before at bedtime. Anytime I took time before I was super sleepy to set intentions and ask Source for specific things in my life at bedtime, I’d wake up the next day feeling fantastic and ready for life. That was a deliberate act that I don’t always remember to take. Another thing that tends to contribute to my good days is, oddly enough, being able to help others with something they need. Being of service in some way, shape or form to someone I know, a loved one or even strangers. I discount how much the act of service in smaller capacities contributes to my own well-being. That’s why sitting at home too often tends to bring me misery. I really need to find ways to serve at least 3 times a week. I discovered that just right now, as I typed this! And lastly on the list of good day contributors, I would say self-care was massive. Generally doing self-care things the same day that I was of service to others and I had set intentions at bedtime the night prior and made for an incredible following day! All amazing things for me to remember!
The hard days, I will spend significantly less time discussing here. I feel it can be summed up quite simply. I took on the world and collective consciousness’s fucked up and shitty perspective. That’s it! Now what causes that is irrelevant. The simple truth is that, being that I know that perspective exists, I need to set boundaries to never allow it into my space, being and consciousness. Period.
What was most important on those hard days and in looking back at this whole experience is self-compassion, self-love and giving myself grace. Those concepts are essentially one in the same, but can be broken down in many ways. I will save that for another blog post and add it to the non-existent list of shit I say I’m going to post about in other blog posts! I leave all of that to divine timing and synchronicity! If I am actually meant to come back around to the ideas and share messages based on them, Spirit will inspire me to bring it to fruition! In the meantime, I’m just going to continue my journey and keep learning to flow!
So there you have it, folks! My long winded version of why I crashed and burned on a 30 day challenge! I’m good with it! So many glorious and insightful lessons learned! I must say, I am feeling truly blessed! Sending light and love from my heart, to yours!
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